


won't live there

by slowlange



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Canon Compliant, Doggy Style, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Yikes, it's hard to judge, the end is a little angsty but a little cute, very confusing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26610601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowlange/pseuds/slowlange
Summary: “What if I’m not good enough for you?”“I don’t care.”Erwin takes control, naturally, beginning an intimate dance that Levi wasn’t prepared for in the slightest. He heads for the bed, beckoning Levi over so casually it makes his stomach turn. But he follows orders regardless, seating himself beside him.“No, not there.”Levi’s eyes follow Erwin’s hand as it rises, then falls on the meat of his thigh.“Here.”
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 37
Kudos: 352
Collections: Amazing EruRi Fics





	won't live there

**Author's Note:**

> alright, *cracks knuckles*, let's get this account going.
> 
> i started this fic 2 years ago and stumbled upon it the other day, and my desire to have these two fuck overwhelmed me. i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it :)

Levi always found himself wandering into Erwin Smith’s quarters whenever he felt he was beginning to lose himself. It didn’t have to be anything as detrimental as the mechanics and logic of their world, as Levi’s head could simply ache before walking right up to his door.

Eventually, it became a habit. More for curing his headaches and less for finding his center. Though, both goals managed to work hand in hand.

There were many reasons Levi enjoyed Erwin. He was quiet, for starters. Only spoke when spoken to. Opinionated when acceptable. And, almost always, only crossed Levi when necessary. The reasons why Erwin was well-respected amongst his peers began to shine through with each minute spent at his side. Levi, disgruntled by the revelation, knew he couldn’t turn a blind eye to what was becoming pure fact.

Through his hesitant acceptance, a friendship between the two began to form. Shaky, at first (Levi trying to kill Erwin was certainly of no help to either of them), but with time Erwin began to build a formidable trust in who most would call his second half.

Erwin’s second half. Only once has Levi laid awake at night nursing the praise.

Soon, admiring what everyone else became boring. The first night Levi decided to give a second glance to Erwin’s bottom lip, plump and tucked between his teeth, was the beginning of a downward spiral.

He looked like something out of a picture in the space of a few seconds. Levi wishes he could draw, wishes at that moment that he was able to capture something he simply couldn’t understand.

It wasn’t a special night within the Survey Corps; they’d just returned from their 36th expedition, and the two of them managed to concern themselves with reports into late hours.

Erwin’s eyes were drooping. Levi had never seen it before. Then again he’d never been in Erwin’s quarters this _late_ before. Seeing him fall weak to slumber made Levi feel uncomfortable. It was far too intimate for some reason, to see the great Erwin Smith be human.

“We should probably wrap it up for now,” Levi suggested, reaching to gather his reports, “I’ll wake up early and start—”

“Or you’ll stay up after you leave my quarters and drill through the remaining reports just in time to wake the cadets.”

Levi pauses. Erwin has a tired, smug smile stretched on his mouth.

“You don’t sleep much, do you?”

The warmth of their night grows cold, a heavy scowl painted across Levi’s face before he can even stop himself.

“I don’t think that’s any of your concern.” 

It comes out rude, but deep down it was unintentional. He regrets it not only because he’s addressing his commanding officer, but because he doesn’t want Erwin to see him in that light anymore. 

“I apologize for the outburst.” His arms tightened about his chest.

“I accept your apology,” Erwin chuckles to himself shortly afterward, “though I feel like a little kid, saying that.”

“What do you mean?” Levi asks.

“Well, I feel that we say the obvious, such as exchanging apologies, when we can’t pick up social cues between each other.” He shrugs as if the observation was normal, “I guess I just thought we were past that.”

“Past what?” Levi was starting to lose track of the conversation at an embarrassing rate. There was usually so much more silence between them; it was comforting. What happened to that Erwin? Minding to himself, simply nodding his head at the praise from his comrades. Levi could at least participate in curt exchanges with him.

“Having to say the obvious.” He answers, plain and simple. “You and I have known each other for a while, Levi. I feel that we’ve grown close over the years, yes?”

To have it spoken out loud pulled at his heart, Levi has to eventually admit. They’ve both known it for a long while, along with everyone around them, floating around like some unspoken scandal. Why wouldn’t Erwin be the first one to say it? 

“We have,” Levi even manages to muster a smile, “but that doesn’t change my sleep schedule overnight, does it.”

“What if you spent the night in an actual bed?” Erwin raises his brow, his hand held out to his bed, “obviously you don’t use yours.”

Levi ignores the physical invitation, looking instead to meet Erwin’s gaze. There, lies the truth. Erwin isn’t a man that makes everything visible for the naked eye, no. Someone so secretive and guarded—at a level that might even surpass Levi himself—can only be read through his eyes. And only Levi has mastered their language.

And when he sees those eyes, he understands just how serious Erwin’s proposition is.

“Well?”

Levi hesitates.

“What if I’m not good enough for you?”

“I don’t care.”

Erwin takes control, naturally, beginning an intimate dance that Levi wasn’t prepared for in the slightest. He heads for the bed, beckoning Levi over so casually it makes his stomach turn. But he follows orders regardless, seating himself beside him.

“No, not there.”

Levi’s eyes follow Erwin’s hand as it rises, then falls on the meat of his thigh.

“Here.”

His poor heart stops and stutters as Levi glances quickly from Erwin’s inviting hand to his equally inviting gaze. This is ridiculous. He feels like a child. The door’s already been opened. They both know what’s about to happen. 

So why do his hands still quiver?

“Come,” Erwin repeats. “I’m cold.”

Somehow, Levi’s legs find the will to move again at the sound of the command that still hangs in the air. His natural instinct, he supposes. Slowly, he lifts himself atop Erwin, legs seated neatly on either side of the commander’s. Arms follow suit, wrapping around his neck.

“That’s nice…” Erwin murmurs it under his breath but Levi hears. He sounds like a pervert, but it doesn’t disgust him. It sends a pulse to his groin, pressed up tight against Erwin’s. It was painful to admit, but a sliver of Levi loved being good for him right now. His thighs close in tighter, surprised at a sudden sensation where his spine curves. Erwin’s fingers had found their way under his uniform, navigating the path his spine carves out for him.

“Your skin is soft,” He continues, “softer than I thought it would be.”

Levi’s breath halts in his throat.

“What’s wrong?”

There’s a pause before he opens his mouth to respond. He tries to annunciate it fully, but he’s only able to deliver a pitiful whisper, “What do you want from this?”

Erwin’s hand reaches where his shoulder blade ends and his collarbone begins, suddenly grasping tightly and tilting Levi’s body away from him. His back arcs and the breath he was holding escapes.

“I want to take my time.”

Levi feels Erwin’s other hand fiddling at his front, snapping the buttons open with ease. With all his strength he can’t move from the position he’s been maneuvered into. Can’t grind his semi down into Erwin’s leg, can’t break free of his hold, and pull him into the kiss he so desires to share. All he can do is sit helplessly in the commander’s lap and let him slowly strip Levi of every safeguard he’s ever put up. 

Erwin releases him as soon as his chest is fully exposed, both his hands sinking down to his partially exposed hip.

“Your body is incredible.”

“I thought you knew that already.”

“It’s different up close.”

The process of Erwin feeling him up is sending him into a frenzy. It feels nice, without a doubt. His hands are contrastingly cold against his skin and the sensation is much more than bearable, but Levi’s brain is catching up to the present and he’s coming to terms with just how badly he might have wanted this underneath the guise of their professional relationship.

“Kiss me.”

He utters it once, looks Erwin dead in the eyes when he says it. He returns his gaze with a hint of playfulness, toying at the hem of his shirt now.

“Are you ordering me around, now?”

Levi doesn’t care to play games. “I don’t see a purpose in waiting. Not sure why you would either.”

It’s clear he’s amused by this sudden change in dynamic. His touch still moves experimentally and it tickles, but Levi does his best to ignore it and stay focused on the man before him, holding their fate in his large hands. Hands that cradle him with ease, like he’s a child. It disgusts Levi as much as it makes his dick ache a smidgen more in his pants.

“I should make you wait just for that…” Erwin huffs, but smiles regardless, “but I’ll indulge you, this once.”

He takes his lover’s chin in an instant, tucking him into an aggressive collision. He holds them there for a moment, lets the kiss seep in. Erwin’s mouth is soft; he tastes like the whiskey he downed a few hours ago before they’d started working. They move together with hunger, Erwin’s tongue sweeping across Levi’s bottom lip before it plunges into his mouth. He makes a sound, though it’s quelled in seconds. He didn’t expect Erwin’s kiss to feel like this. It was perfect, to the point where he felt like he was meant to be in this room with him. Meant to _feel_ this.

Levi’s fingertips find silky blonde strands of hair to tug on, pulling away from Erwin for a hot, heated second before going back in. They kiss for what seems like ages, tongues dancing together, trails of saliva keeping them connected when they need to breathe.

Erwin hands eventually move (though Levi doesn’t remember when) and go to work on his own fly, pushing Levi’s hips up gently so he can gain access.

He bucks up quickly, gripping onto the commander’s shoulder and watching as he maneuvers his way out of his white pants. Erwin’s boxers come down with the uniform, his cock springing free from their previous confines. It’s just as big, and just as thick, as Levi thought it was. His own arousal is heavier at the sight. 

“My god…” He reaches to cover his mouth after his outburst, but Erwin grabs at his hand earnestly.

“It’s exactly what you expected, isn’t it?”

_Reading his mind. Again._

“Why must you always tell me what I’m thinking.”

“You wear your emotions on your sleeve, Levi,” he murmurs, turning the captain’s wrist over and placing a chaste kiss on the vein, “it’s the most enticing thing about you.”

Levi sweats, still fully dressed. He hates being showered with praise and affection like this. His body feels so warm it makes him sick. And besides that, how is he supposed to respond to that? He doesn’t have poetry lined up to pour onto Erwin’s lap, nor does he think he come up with it at the moment. How is he supposed to give back? How is he supposed to explain just how _good_ it all feels now that he’s able to do it with him?

“I can’t explain what I’m feeling right now.” Levi confesses, completely unwound in the commander’s lap, heart-throbbing as hard as his cock, “I can’t.”

Erwin seems to understand where Levi’s coming from, expression alone leading him to the conclusion. Without another word, he sets him down on the ground. Levi feels almost helpless waiting for his next command, wondering how much farther they’re going to go.

To his pleasure, he doesn’t have to wait long. Erwin doesn’t hesitate to shuck his undergarments off completely, his shirt following after. He kicks them all to the other side of the bedroom with a tantalizing smirk. Levi wants to clamber back into his lap and devour him all over again.

“All this time I’ve been inviting you to my bedroom hoping the situation would unfold into something like this…” He says, sitting on the edge of the mattress again, “and now I have you here on my knees without a single way to thank me.”

_What does he…_

“I suppose there’s only one way.”

He takes his cock in his hand, holding it out to Levi almost like an offering. Slowly the pieces start to come together until it hits him all at once.

Levi wants to smack himself for being so naïve.

Erwin’s hand brushes along the undercut of his hair, encouraging him to inch closer to his throbbing length. Levi looks up at him, drinks in the hunger dripping out of his expression, his eyes. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to have him in a position like this again. Unwound and falling apart into his hands…

It’s the end for both of them.

“Suck.” Erwin gives the terse command and his subordinate goes to work almost immediately at his beck and call.

Levi takes him in his hands, tongue darting out to lick a stripe up the cold underside of his talk. He revels in how Erwin shudders, fingertips pressing into his skull. It’s been a while since he’s done this, he admits, but he thinks he can pull it together for this moment. Levi comes back up from another long drag of his tongue, puckering his lips and pressing them against the tip. Erwin sighs at this, eyes still trained down, awaiting what he’ll do next. 

He takes the weeping tip of Erwin’s cock into the warmth of his mouth, sucking hard and pulling off with a pop. He doesn’t wait to hear if his partner likes it, repeating his actions over and over. He takes his time sucking him off, making it a priority to trace every inch of his girth with his tongue. It feels fitting, praising Erwin like this. _Thanking_ him like this. Levi doesn’t know where this is coming from, this affection, but this urge to lay down his soul is beyond him.

He releases Erwin’s arousal from his lips, reaches down to lick at his balls. Erwin moans above him, eyes never leaving their target, his hand gripping righter at Levi’s hair. It’s gratifying to see him like this. 

Every few seconds or so he’ll stop, let the saliva and cum leak onto his bottom lip for Erwin to see. He’ll only lock eyes with him for a moment before returning, swallowing him down past his shaft. At some point Erwin can’t hold himself back, delivering unsuspecting plunges of his hips into Levi’s face. The latter’s fingers dig into Erwin’s ass, squeezing the supple meat in an attempt to anchor himself during his abuse.

Erwin groans from his chest, maintaining an immense control of his body as he fucks Levi’s mouth thoroughly. He slows down after a while, gradually working himself down before pulling out abruptly. Levi looks up at him somewhat impatiently, mouth now covered in the remnants of Erwin.

“Get on the bed,” He orders, “take your pants off. Just—just get naked.”

“Oka—”

“And don’t wipe your mouth off.”

Levi grimaces at that. It’s not like it was dripping off his chin, no, but it was sticky and gross and he felt like he couldn’t focus. Regardless, he discards his clothes: the button-down slips off of his broad shoulders, fluttering down to the hardwood floor. The pants come next, and he wastes no time kicking them in the same direction. He slowly begins to remove his undergarments, and the room gets colder as he does. He’s sure it isn’t the actual temperature, no. Erwin’s room is fairly hot. That, and it’s the middle of the summer. 

It comes from the anticipation. The unpredictability, the level at which their relationship is ascending to. The lure and desire of new territory. As much as it terrifies him and sends those chills all over his body, he won’t leave. He can’t leave. His desire to have Erwin in ways others outweighs the fear of their mutual progression.

He crawls onto the bed, parallel to the top rail of the footboard. Erwin had been watching him the entire time, a devious smile on his face as he watched his prey expose himself for taking.

“Spread your legs,” He sits on the bed again and eases over to where Levi lays, “wide.”

He starts to spread and Erwin takes in a deep breath, eyes widening at the marvel before him. His fingers dig into the supple flesh of Levi’s thighs and his head dives down to kiss his stomach. Levi squirms at the tickling sensation but Erwin keeps his thighs locked down, limiting any intense movement. Erwin moves leisurely as if they don’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn the next day.

His lips move to where his fingertips have placed themselves, peppering more kisses all around and dragging sweet sighs out of Levi’s mouth. As soon as he starts to enjoy it it’s gone, but the feeling isn’t missed when he sees where Erwin’s mouth is set to journey next.

“You’re…” Levi just can’t shake how _dirty_ it is, what he wants to do.

“Don’t think about it,” Erwin assures him, pecking the side of his shaft.

Levi makes an unpleasant sound, though he takes Erwin’s hair in his hands again and lets him carry on. He wets his lip slowly when Erwin’s chin brushes up against his skin, and then his head disappears, falling between his outspread legs. 

The feeling he’s anticipating isn’t something new. He’s been eaten out before. Not _well_ , but it’s happened. But (and he really should have expected it), Erwin feels like a new experience entirely. The self-consciousness, the worry of being disgusting, slipped away almost immediately. Erwin’s tongue dips into him gently before he flattens it and thrusts inside, taking a plentiful taste of Levi’s tantalizing heat.

Levi bucks up at the sensation but Erwin forces him back down on the bed again. The assault— _the seductive, immeasurably pleasurable assault_ —went on for what felt like hours. Erwin takes their precious time, explores every inch and crevice that he can of Levi’s hole. He’d pull out, press kisses to his skin, suck hickeys into his rich thighs (at Levi’s request—because no one needed to know just what they were up to tonight), squeezing them licking them down to the soles of his feet and back. It was an assault, yes, but he was being worshipped all the same. 

Every inch of his skin has been touched or left with some sort of testament of Erwin at this point. His skin was bruised, wet, hot, loved. Levi’s face made itself up when he’d return to eating out of his ass as if he was made to be there as if that was the only place he wanted to be. He was overwhelmed. He wanted to touch his dick. _God, he wanted to touch his dick_. Precum dripped from the head onto his stomach and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out. Normally his stamina was not one to be rivaled with, but Erwin was a different breed. He challenged him, brought out a beast, unlike anything he’s ever known. His hands trembled at that; the fact that Erwin had the capability to take his subdued emotional and sexual self by the throat and drag it out willingly. The fact that one man held such an acute power over him and Levi was otherwise helpless to it.

And he liked it.

Erwin takes him in his mouth and sucks pleasantly, tugs at the head with his lips. Levi would have felt shame comparing himself to what he just managed to guzzle down his throat, but going untouched for so long left him slack-jawed. 

“Erwin, _oh_ —”

“Not done yet…” He says, toneless before his fingers are shoved into Levi’s mouth, following up with a sharp, “Suck.”

Levi does his best not to choke on Erwin’s fingers, wrapping his lips around them and maneuvering his tongue. He’s swift and hasty, wanting to return to the state he was previously in before Erwin decided he wanted to mess around.

“Nice, that’s good.” He pulls them out and Levi watches as he proceeds to move back to his puckering hole, shoving his middle finger in first. Levi groans as he thrusts without a second thought, hips jerking with every curl of his thick fingers. A second finger follows shortly and Levi’s cock bobs between the two of them, forsaken at the expense of Erwin’s treatment.

“Please don’t stop…” Levi’s voice has practically disappeared, so scratchy and hoarse that it surprises him that Erwin hears his plea.

“I’d like to fuck you as soon as possible,” Erwin replies, “tell me if you feel stretched enough—”

“ _Yes._ Yes, it’s fine.”

He raises his brows.

“Desperate, hm…”

“It’s your doing,” Levi snarls, “don’t act coy.”

Erwin ignores him. Only hums quietly as he gives his cock an ample coating of lube. Levi is quickly hypnotized watching him stroke himself as he lays on the bed, partially fucked out, legs spread wide and waiting for the grand prize of the evening. Night had fallen over the Survey Corps base outside, not a single sound to be heard. Levi can’t help but remember that had he not spent the extra few hours here that he did today, he’d be in his quarters most likely lying awake on his own. But instead, he’s here, about to be fully embraced by a man he should be… ah well… they’re here now. What does it matter how they _should_ be addressing each other?

Levi stops thinking about it when Erwin towers over him, dick in one hand, the other bracing him against the headboard. He breathes heavily, all up in Levi’s face, but not in a bad way.

“You ready?”

“Ask me again and I’m going to reconsider killing you.”

He smiles, _laughs_ , reaches up to run a finger down the side of Levi’s strong jaw.

“You’re beautiful.”

Levi can’t reply, speechless. Not because of the ‘beautiful’ comment no, but because of the thick mass inching its way into his wet gaping heat.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” He gasped, shocked by Erwin’s length for the umpteenth time for the night in a completely different context, “slow down Erwin slow down.”

“I thought you were humanity’s strongest soldier.” Erwin stops then, looking down at him with a gaze that insults the former, “You’re telling me that humanity’s strongest soldier can’t take my cock?”

“ _Erwin…_ ”

“I quite like it, actually,” he says with a superior air to it, “The strongest man in the Survey Corp in my bed, and the only thing that can shut him up is my cock.”

He slams in once. Levi gasps, gripping the sheets ‘till his knuckles are just as pale as them.

“And I bet you like that too, don’t you?”

His stomach gurgles with embarrassment and anger towards the commander, but pride is the only thing that fuels it’s fire. 

“Shut up,” Levi growls. He won’t give in to that stupid ass smirk on his face. To hell with him.

“Ah well.” Erwin yanks him by the hair, arching his petite frame back so he can stare at him properly. “I’ll get it out of you before we’re through.”

He pushes his head down before snapping his hips once, and again, and again. If Levi could, he’d be foaming at the mouth. Erwin fills him, _works him_ , in a way that no man has before, experience evident. It annoys him for a moment, the fact that Erwin would have had to sleep with countless people in order to know his way around like this.

“You fuck like…you know what you’re doing…” He pants into the headboard, “you take all your captains like this?”

A low chuckle thunders from Erwin’s chest and he drags his hips out at the slowest, most exaggerated pace Levi can imagine with his current mental state.

“Just you,” He confirms with sick, gleeful confidence, “you’re the only officer I would ever have in my quarters like this.”

Erwin presses a firm kiss to his spine and Levi bends away with a shiver.

“The only man capable of making feel the things I’ve been feeling ever fucking _night_ —”

He starts his wanton assault again, fucking Levi through the wood he weakly braces himself on. Erwin’s hand eventually travels to meet Levi’s on the mattress, entwining their hands together sloppily and triggering an extra layer of flush to crawl about his torso. 

“Been wanting you to take my cock like this since I figured out your little plan to kill me,” he huffs, spreading his legs for a better angle. Levi whines when he moves faster as a result. “Thought you could kill me? Huh?”

“ _Erwin—_ ”

“Did you?”

“Did…” Levi gasps out and Erwin slows, hips gyrating at a steady pace that he hates.

“Say that again?”

“I did…” He barely whispers.

“So you can respond after all,” Erwin pushes in and Levi whimpers, mouth falling open again, “That’s a good boy.”  
  
He snaps out of it. “Don’t you _dare_ call me— _o-oh shit fuck—_ ”

The same fast, ruthless pace from earlier resumes and Levi’s body goes limp on automatic, giving itself to Erwin and rejecting every single one of his petty brain’s claims. His head thumps against the headboard and Erwin takes the time to stop and pull his legs down and readjust before getting right back to it as if nothing had even happened. He pins Levi’s arms above his head while his other hand rests on the curve of his hip, making more of an effort to steady him as he’s continuously fucked into.

“You gonna tell me you like it yet?” He growls.

“Not…” Levi has to process the rest of the words he’s supposed to be saying and how to say them before he picks it back up, “not a fucking chance.”

“Fine.”

Erwin flips him onto his stomach with such speed that Levi has to blink a few times and reorient. Though he’s not given much time, because Erwin is pushing into him just as quickly as he pulled out mere seconds ago.

“Erwin fuck I—”

“Take it, Ackerman,” Erwin says quietly, twisting his hips a bit. His partner whimpers underneath him, the small swivels having a much more intense effect inside.

“You—” Levi gnaws at his lip when Erwin shoves his head into the mattress.

“Breathing?” He asks.

“Shut up.”  
  
“Breathing.” He takes that as a yes before gripping both sides of his hips and railing him home. Levi’s voice comes out in the form of broken ‘ah’s, the mattress muzzling him with every other thrust of Erwin’s hips.

Levi can’t focus on anything but the feeling of Erwin’s fucking horse cock inside of him at this point, hyper fixated on the way he can’t feel anything _except_ for it. He manages to fill every crevice of his insides with every move his cock makes and it doesn’t add up. All he can do is take it and Levi, in the center of a storm of confusion, annoyance, and pleasure, can’t bring himself to resist anymore.

“More…” He moans, hushed, and buried into the soft sheets. Erwins slows again and it’s agonizing. Levi bucks back against him but Erwin’s hands have too sturdy of a grip.

“What was that, darling?” Erwin purrs with a hint of smugness backing his endearment, “I don’t think I heard you.”

“Fuck me harder…” Levi turns his head, “please.”

“So _compliant_.” A huge grin spreads across Erwin’s face. He extends his fingers towards Levi’s mouth and he takes them in almost immediately, 

“Of course I’ll fuck you, kitten.”

 _Kitten._ Levi moans again.

“You like this? You like me fucking you like you deserve to be fucked?”

“ _Yeah_.” He’s broken down to rubble now. Erwin’s eyes soften at his response, the response he’s been waiting for all night. There isn’t a hint of arrogance in sight, either. Just a soft, puppy-like gaze that makes Levi feel like his answer was the key to Erwin’s devotion. It was something bigger than sex. His heart swells in a way he can’t comprehend at that moment but Erwin is determined to finish them, the flash of affection quickly washed over and replaced with monstrous lust. 

Erwin fucks him hard again.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

It all happens quickly after that. He keeps Levi’s head pinned into the sheets, now coated with a fresh layer of saliva (though he doesn’t really notice). Erwin is moving impossibly fast now and Levi’s orgasm climbs higher, closer, so close he can _touch_ it but he wishes it was the father. He doesn’t want this to end, doesn’t want to go back to his cold empty bedroom and run through the same fucking reports he’s been getting for the past week. He can’t. He wants this every night, every day, every lunch break, _fuck—_

“I-I’m gonna cum,” He manages to get out, “Erwin’s I’m gonna—”

“I hear you.” The commander reaches down and wraps a damp hand around Levi’s cock, ignored since their preparations, though he didn’t even notice until he was touched, “I’m here.”

He starts stroking much more generously than earlier, completing his motions and matching his pace with each ram of his dick inside of him. Levi knows he won’t last much longer with things lining up the way they are.

“Mmm…I almost forgot…” Erwin is by his ear suddenly, licking at the base of Levi’s neck. He can’t pay any mind to him, paralyzed by his cock. But then…

“ _Erwin~!_ ”

“Missed a spot,” He grins at having hit him directly against his sweet spot. He lines himself up again and attacks Levi there over and over.

Levi knows he’s done for now.

“You—I—”

“It’s okay…”

His dick, his hands, his voice, his mouth. It’s all too much. He can’t breathe, the pleasure filling his being choking him out.

“Levi…”

“ _Mmmm—”_

“Shhh… it’s okay…”

“I—I—”

“Let go, Levi.”

Erwin’s thumb caresses his flaring head and Levi’s orgasm hits him like firecrackers. Hot cum jets out of his cock, sprays his face and chest, but he hasn’t the slightest care of how filthy he is. There are a couple more rough movements behind him but he has completely tapped out. Erwin fucks him through his high, pressing himself into him leisurely. _Did they finish together?_ He sure hopes so. But he isn’t sure if he felt anything inside of him. God, he can’t feel _anything_.

He would ask, but he’s too weak, so he just assumes that Erwin has finished from the lack of movement above. His body twitches moderately, down to his toes. His eyes are heavier than they’d been in weeks. Hell, he might even be able to sleep for a few hours tonight. Erwin pulls out of his ass carefully, cupping the left cheek for support.

“Are you okay, Levi?”

“Mmmmngh…” Is all he can muster.

“Don’t move,” He hears Erwin faintly, mind still disoriented as he’s lifted off of Erwin’s bed. The cushion of the mattress is replaced with the soft embrace of his skin. Erwin’s skin. How nice…his shirt is still off. Levi nuzzles into the heat of his chest and Erwin can’t resist the smile aching to spread on his face.

“You okay?”

“Mmmmm,” Levi doesn’t have the energy to give a coherent answer, just tucks himself further into his arms.

Eventually, he’s dropped into a hot bath, where he begins to gain some control of his senses back. The hot water wakes him enough to open and his eyes, muscles aching, but not so bad that he can’t sit himself up in the tub. Erwin sits on the ground beside him, readying a rag and soap. 

“Do you mind if I…”

Erwin’s eyes flicker to the rag and soap, then Levi’s hunched body resting in the tub. He nods, unsure of what else he’ll do. Erwin begins to clean him, gentle with every wipe and scrub. He touches him like they are lovers and Levi’s heart pounds like it did when he got a glimpse of that look in Erwin’s eyes.

“Does it hurt?” He asks, and the feeling all but disappears. 

“Yes, idiot.” Levi snaps. “You destroyed my fucking asshole.”

“Did you like it, though?”

He hesitates before nodding his head begrudgingly. His annoyance is so fake and it’s obvious. 

“I’m glad you liked it…” Erwin cups some water in his hand, pouring it over Levi’s shoulders. “I liked it too. You were incredible.”

A small smile creeps onto Levi’s face, remembering the doubts he had before the ball started rolling.

“I’ve been admiring you for far too long, Levi.” Erwin continues, “I’m…glad we did this.”

“So what does this say about…us.” Levi holds his hand out, motioning to the two of them before crossing his arms over his knees again.

“What do you want to be?”

“I don’t feel like we have the time to be worrying over labels.”

Erwin nods.

“Then we’ll work with the ones we have.”

“Commander and captain?”

“Yes, but I also had another set in mind.”

“Enlighten me.”

Erwin shifts to his knees, dropping the rag in the tub water and cupping Levi’s reddened cheeks in his coarse hands. 

“Mine, and yours.”

Heat festers in Levi’s chest and spreads to his entire body, the water he sits in suddenly hotter than before. 

“Yours…” Levi begins to repeat, but Erwin cuts him off.

“...and mine. Interchangeable, too.”

He laughs at that before hanging his head low. His stomach still stirs.

“It feels so selfish. To have this, when…”

“I know,” Erwin brings him closer, “I know. But every day we send people to die. We watch them, we can’t save them, sometimes we _refuse_ to save them. Every day we take, and the weight of it…their faces…it’s unbearable but…” 

He holds his gaze with Levi.

“If just once, I can have you. If just once, I can give you what I can’t give anyone else—”

Levi’s jaw falls ever so slightly.

“To give you my affection—”

It pains him, the fact that they even have to consider others when it comes to the bounds of their relationship, but being the one person… the _one person_ that was able to receive all that Erwin could give behind closed doors…

“To let me love you in turn for all the harm I’ve ever done, Levi…”

It’s so selfish, but life is too short. For some reason, he believes it. No matter Erwin’s intent, he believes that there is love between them. 

“I’ll let you have me,” He says, “I’ll let you have my heart. But only if I can have yours.”

“You’ve had mine for far too long.”

The bathwater sloshes around Levi when Erwin closes the space between them with a benign kiss. The embrace is the most vanilla one they’ve had all night, and Levi adores it. Savors every sweet second he can suck out of this moment. The tingles dancing along his lips, the warm hand that holds his back steady, the strings of blonde hair tangling about his fingertips. So vulnerable, so unlike them. So unlike the world outside that awaits them the next morning.

But it’s fine. If he can have this for a night, a mere moment, he’ll be okay. Perhaps that’s why he always found himself here. Maybe his latent self sensed the sanctuary awaiting him before his brain could catch up. For once, he wouldn’t have to live in that world on an endless loop. 

He won’t live there. He’ll live with Erwin. Where he feels most human. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/slowlange) and we can cry together :) i'm into a lot of stuff and wanna make friends <3333


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